21 May, 2006

Mutual of Baghdad's Wild Kingdom -- Part 1

So I was putting on my boots the other day and realized there must be a rock in the bottom. It wasn’t painful and I needed to get to the office so I said to myself, “I’ll just take care of this when I get there.”

Once sitting in my chair I realized, strange, the rock wasn’t in the same place and that I probably should do something about this. As I began to unlace my boot I realized the rock was moving… in a manner that suggested it was moving itself. My unlacing efforts sped up, dramatically.

As I upended the boot a very large black beetle (must have been over an inch long and about ¾ of an inch in diameter, I have witnesses) tumbled out and landed on the floor. It was obviously quite disoriented having been in such close proximity to my feet as it was stumbling about in confusion and recovering from the asphyxiation it had experienced in my boot. As I shrieked in horror to think what had been inside there, my boot was wielded high and mightily and brought down with unjust fury on the hapless bug. It was my fault of course for not checking my boots but the bug paid.

I check my boots now each morning.


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